My Perspective, My reality

I once had a dream that my world was bigger than these 4 walls

I went for 3 injections today (sigh) which left me feeling pathetic and moody.

The first shot was for my blood group, and it was freaking painful. I thought I would cry. And I really think I would if I hadn't choose to look away. There was that initial penetration of the needle (must be really thick or something) followed by 2-3 extremely painful extraction of more blood samples I presume. In the end, they took one full test-tube of my blood which I thought was way too much.

The nurse asked me if I was feeling giddy. And all I felt was nauseous when I saw my own blood sample. -.-

Actually I can live without knowing my own blood type, totally not worth the emotional trauma. To prove how wimpy I am, the thought of not proceeding with the 2 other jabs did cross my  mind. But after much consideration and careful deliberation, I decided not to let a puny little needle ruined my carefully crafted "fearless" image. 

Even rainbows don't make it look any better

As we queued, S and I talked crap. And then we came to the topic of HIV.

This question rose up "How would you treat your friend if they are confirmed HIV positive?"

If you thinking my reply would be "I will not be indifferent. You are still my friend" bullshit. I am sorry to break your heart. Welcome to cruel reality. 

I will avoid...at least for 2 months for me to decide what to do with our "changed" relationship.

Eventually, we will still be friends but we won't share food etc. I know many people reading this would be like thinking "if you were the "victim", you won't think the same. Not really, I was telling S, if this happened to me, I would probably look at myself in disdain. The last thing on my mind is "friends". And as my life draws to an uncertain end, the only thing I want to do is inject some meaning to it...do a lot of charity work etc once I can face myself and hate myself less. You have your own share of fun. Now you have to bear the consequences. Asking your friends and family to share your burden, I don't find it reasonable and justifiable. I would rather isolate myself. (inserts sad laugh) Whatever it is, being given a death sentence at the prime of your life will still be a bitter and disappointing feeling.

And S was like "what if is born like that?"

Seriously, for people our age, you are not born like that. You probably inflicted it upon yourself. And...you won't expect any sympathy for me. I will not be empathetic. So if you contracted HIV and is looking for a comforting friend, I am not the one.

But...if it happens during your marriage due to your cheating spouse. I will be there for you. Really. Cos that one is pure suay-ness. Not your fault really. 

If marriage used to be based on faith, now it is based on extreme trust.

Marriage is now the tomb of love and life.

It is so sweet to tell someone, "I don't care about your past." But, how can we not care when  it affects our future?

How terrible it is to love something that death can touch...

On a brighter note, I have finished my ppt (which didn't end on a brighter note).

And wearing my lucky ring, I attracted so many people from my past and present. The world is really so small. I guess the biggest "find" of the day is Mr Teo. Lol!

Can't believe he doesn't remember us through one glance. I always thought I was pretty memorable. Must be cos I am chio-er. Hahaha.

So it's true. Students always remember their teachers.

BE remembered fondly. TEACH!

Good teaching slogan from yours truly.

I realized RI has all the best teachers. Sigh. Always poaching.

Day I won a bag...hahaha... I like this photo...
Feel like Luna...WQ, a sailormoon

But meeting people from your past isn't that good. It makes me feel old and that a lot of things have changed.

Although I do think when you put the same group of people together, they will always play the same social role no matter how drastic their changes are.

Sui Yue Bu Rao Ren. Wang Shi Bu Kan Hui Shou. 

(I know my Chinese is good.)

To end it off,

In life, it's always 99% hard work and 1% luck.

And usually it's that 1% luck that changes everything.

When I make it big in life, this is one quote I want to be remembered for.

Doubt anybody ever comes up with this warp logic yet. Lol!

P.S: I feel like going to STGCC 2012...