So many questions, so much on my mind ...
So many answers I can't find ...
Wish I could turn back the time ...
I wonder why ...
FYP is making me super frustrated. Finally set myself a dateline to show something by 2 weeks.Too many time wasted on reading online. My eyes hurt damn badly.Everybody is like saying this and that. And I am like thinking "where is the number? Show me the number? Where are the facts?"
And working with nasty people doesn't help either.Wait, you got partners meh? The horrible trio - Me, myself and I *groans*3 in a team. All going in different directions.One wants to sleep and complain all day. And like in every team, we have that useless free-rider.One worries all day. But other than worrying is not exactly contributing. Those a**holes that ask all day, are we going to start soon? what are we going to do next? Those peeps that you want to give one f-ing tight slap and scream "How would I know? Why don't you just make yourself useful instead?"One obsessive perfectionist that keeps deleting everything I write because ... it is not good enough. !@#$ "So what will I be handing up?" I demanded. And so she said "I would rather hand up nothing than that piece of crap!" whaat whhhatttt whhhhhhattttt. ARE YOU OUT OF YOUR MIND?!?
Yes I am.That's why my personality instead of splitting 2 ways have now spitted 3 ways.Too many cooks really do spoil a broth.
Now you know why I said, I am better off working with myself.Nobody would be able to stand my dramatic emotional breakdowns, nonsensical self-muttering and sudden rage outburst of expletives.In fact I am so sick of cussing, sometimes I shorten it to a monotonous tsk or even that long-slurred "whhhhhhhhaaaaaatttt" (supposed to end off with a high pitch aaattt) "What" is now my replacement for the F-word. So don't think I am calm when I do my "what" at you.
So what now?I wish I knew.
You know what sucks. When you have to write 60 pages of solid content all by yourself.It is totally different when each of us write a 20 pages essay and we join forces for better or for worse.Exasperate and Desperate. Now I know what it is like to sink or swim.Die or Die Trying.
I am only in my early twenties.Surely I don't deserve this...sobs. breaks down. and cry. story of my life.that one fairy tale that doesn't have a happy ending.
