I just got inspired by Cat to write this post because she said I am a very realistic person when it comes to love.
Most lovers in this world are generally spilt into 2 R’s – romantic or realistic. I obviously fall under the second category. There’s nothing wrong in either category. It’s just a mere perspective of how you view circumstances which would then affect your decisions.
For a realistic lover, I think we are generally more laid back. I am not saying that we do not have a single jealous bone in our body. I think we do have our jealous moments, just that the frequency isn’t that high. I don’t think it has anything to do with not liking the person enough. I prefer to think of it as reviewing your partner before dedicating the suitable amount of affection to him. Maybe I am just more practical in nature. I really don’t think that I should put too much effort into something so intangible and is bound to changes.
I personally view a relationship as a partnership. If you think about it, the similarities between a partnership and relationship extend beyond both words ending with a ship. In both situations, it is crucial that you choose the right partners.
Why do firms get into a partnership? They get together and collaborate because they want to grow. It’s actually quite important before you jump into a relationship to consider if both parties will grow as an individual. When matched with a wrong partner, you might become insecure, depressed and sometimes you lose the life that was initially yours to accommodate him. I just don’t think it’s healthy to live for another person, no matter how romantic the concept may sound. There are cases where partnerships break down. If our lives are to revolve about each other like a planet to its moon, what am I going to do when you leave me one day? I just don’t want to be stuck in a situation where I have to plead you not to leave me because I can’t live without you. I don’t want to stoop down to such a level because it’s just pathetic.
And a question I always like to ask myself is “For everything I do for you, what will I get in return?” Perhaps I am a person driven by rewards, but if you pause and think rationally for a second, who would ever jump into a partnership and not expect to get anything in return. Whether is it recognition or perhaps that wedding band, we all hope to get something from whatever we do. The point is, is it even worth the trouble? One of my colleagues told me, some guys may be everything you ever wanted, but if he isn’t going to settle down with you, not at the time you hope he would, he’s not worth waiting for. And somehow, I agree with that statement. I don’t like the idea of waiting for something that has a question mark lingering over it. Maybe, it’s also because I know, there’s really no point in being together for a while, then going separate ways later. I think a little too far, but if I feel that if this partnership can’t last or may break down at crucial moments, we are better off apart. And if I can’t visualize myself waking up with that guy by my side, then to tell the truth, this union will never work out, at least not for now.
I do understand that love is an uncontrollable feeling of passion, but still I don’t want to be a slave to love. It’s not that I don’t want happiness; it’s just that even when love is ebbing, I want to be able to look at the person I am married to and fall for him all over again. Our desires and wants changes as we mature. Just look at the countless aspiration essays you wrote for your teachers, did you ever see that you would be taking this degree and end up in your future occupation? You can’t foretell what you want in the future. But there are some basic guidelines you can follow. I know I need a guy who is more protective because I am used to being sheltered by my parents. I need a guy with a relatively stable job and an income comparable to my dad’s because I know I would want to continue with the lifestyle I have now. I also I need a guy who is independent but yet a shoulder to count on, because I am rather irresponsible and reckless so he needs to complement my flaws. I also know he needs to be those guys who don’t have a life (Lol!) because I am not that sort of girls who keep a tight rein over my guy so he probably hopefully have to be more self-disciplined. (Maybe that’s why I like guy who are more quiet and down-to-earth. Haha!) I think what I am looking for is not love, but someone who shares my dreams and goals. I just need a supportive somebody to listen to my grudges and jump for joy with me.
Call me realistic, whatever. Even romance has a dollar sign attached to it. Love is both an art and science, just that for a realistic preson, I focuses more on the science and the calculations. =D
