He did once, didn’t he? Walking amidst the crowd, I saw a familiar back. The image made my heart sank, confirming my worst fears. I am hallucinating. Now, I see him everywhere. I sulked, but my eyes were still firmly glued on that back. Suddenly, he turned. Oh my god, it’s him!
My heart missed a beat. Frantically, I raised whatever was on my hand to cover my face. I tried to dart to a crowded spot. A sudden realization of my own unexplainable and downright silly behavior hit me. What the hell was I doing? Why am I avoiding him? You were dying to see him weren’t you? Grudgingly, the voice inside me agreed. “But that was 10 years from now!” the voice whimpered. God has heard my prayers, but he has no patience. He missed the last line, the vital, last line.
I tried to focus on the back again. Oh man, where did he go? The crowd trudged forward, pushing me along. Hey, wait, don’t push towards him. But where the hell is he? I panicked. I have lost sight of him.
“I will probably see him at the platform”, I consoled myself. Mentally, I prepared my “Oh, nice to see you here” dialogue and tried to contort my face to a slightly surprised look.
“Me: Hey, what a surprise *gives my prepared surprise look*
Him: Yea, nice surprise. So How are you?
Me: Erm fine? I have a test later though, which I am going to fail.
He stares at me like I am mentally demented or something. “
I snapped back to reality. No, that wasn’t the impression I wanted to give. I am supposed to be successful 10 years later. Rich, Successful, rich, and eh successful, whatever, I just had to be better off than the day we walked apart. I sighed. This is bad.
At the platform, I quickly scanned the place. No sight of him. I missed him? I bit my lip. My brain cells went into over-drive, trying to fix the pieces and make some sense of what was going on.
The Bus! Oh yea, the other mode. Mentally, I pat myself on the back. So you do have a brain that could work in time of crisis. I dashed to the direction of the bus stop. Yea, he is there. I felt a sense of relief.
“He looks the same.” “Nothing changed.” “Most brilliant guy, you’ve ever met.” “The statement still holds truth.” The voices in my head had a mini conversation between themselves, with random interjections of lovesick sighs much to my annoyance. Can’t they just shut up and let me look in peace?
As l looked on, I felt an overwhelming conscious that this was stalkish behavior. Why am I still obsessing over a loss cause? I berated myself for sinking into a moment of weakness and let my heart rule my head. Where did logic go to when I needed him there the most? With all my mental strength, I pulled myself away and forced my body to make its way to school. My heart cried, whined and threw an awful tantrum. My mind stayed firm, wavered a little, but firm enough to pull me away from the danger of falling all over again.
“I want to see a little longer” my heart moaned tearfully. “Why must you do that? You always walk away. I hate you.”
“Because you are ridiculous? I am sick of all your drama. Anyway, you have an exam later. You should focus on it. FOCUS ON IT! YOU IDIOT!” my brain retaliated.
A drop of water hit my notes and smudged a letter. I sniffed and stared sadly into the horizon.
“Me: Hey, what a surprise *gives my prepared surprise look*
Him: Yea, nice surprise. So How are you?
Me: Erm fine? I had a test and I got an A.
(Silence)
Me: An A that I would gladly exchange to free my heart“
~THE END~
