It was a moment of whim, but still it is an economical decision…yea? Just think of all the shampoo money I can save. =)
Okay I started to have this notion to chop off my locks when I found a whooping 10 dollars off voucher that was expiring soon in my bag.
And today the straw broke, when the lecturer asked me “If I was confused, cos I looked frustrated?”
Well, to be absolutely honest, I literally “styled my hair (if I did in the first place) with my eyes closed”. In my defense, it was an early morning and I had a late night. I could barely force my eyes open. I am not trying to be defensive here, but in my natural state, I have very big eyes…lol…that sparkles. Just that lately the turns of events has made them lifeless and squinty. =(
To quote XC, I looked like a “house girl”. Just that I don’t read manga. I thought I looked housewifish, with my hair kiaped in an unkempt way. To put it nicely, I am casual. LOL! It reflects my laidback nature and my wacky personality. I promoted it as the 2012 look. Almost ready to do a catwalk for it…WAHAHA!
It is a common fact that when women snip their mane, it is to forget the past and embrace a new beginning.
I am very satisfied with my current life actually, thank you very much. But at the cusp between penultimate student and graduation, life gets very confusing and a little tad frightening. I don’t like the feeling of losing control. I am no control freak. But when it comes to my life, I don’t like fate, destiny or any higher powers messing around with it. Nobody sims about with my life.
I agree cutting off any body parts is not a solution to any problems. But it is therapeutic. And I have a nasty habit of hacking off some hair when I just can’t seem to see the light. Please rest assure the length cut is not proportional to my level of insanity. Through my mum did faint when she saw my new hairstyle considering I used to cry whenever I cut my hair, especially of my current length. When I was in primary school, I would carry a bucket and weep silently as the hairdresser slowly “shaved” my head. Yes, that was what I felt, shame and disgrace. So for 17 years of my life, I pined for a long flowing mane.
But actually what I really wanted is not long hair or anything like that. I wanted control in my life, my hair, my school. I appealed in and out of schools not because I had nothing better to do and is highly indecisive. It was because I was trapped between living up to expectations and living a life I can call truly my own. I am gutsy, unconventional and was undaunted to take the necessary calculated risk to get the best of both worlds.
But I am losing myself. I am growing increasingly disenchanted with the harsh reality of life.
This was a cut I had to take. It is not a sign of me relenting and conceding. It was a reminder to myself that I still have the courage in me. I will stand up for what is right and is unafraid to do things differently if and only if there is a need to.
Live your beliefs and you can turn the world around. I will live my life as a revolution and not a process of evolution.
