I deleted my old blog. It was a sheer spur of the moment impulse clouded with some frustration on why I couldn't private it.
Much as I feel I have been showing a lot of restraint in my writing, I still pretty much write what I think at that point of time. The thing is I want to immortalize my life, my experience, and hopefully when I come to the time when my memory fails me, I can look back fondly on these little imprints of my life and gushed "so you were such a gal."
Actually what really makes me uncomfortable is the realization of the fact that I can't actually control who views my blog. I mean I am pretty cool if it is strangers or anyone who I have given the link to. I am basing it on the assumption that they don't judge. But what really disturbs me are those acquaintances. You know it's like people pouring over your Facebook when you just meet them and then assessing you based on your bio-data. I mean you are only judging the side which I choose to show you, not really the individual I really am. I am really fine if it is Facebook, at least I can decide which facet to show you. But my blog? Hmm...it's like cutting to the reveal before the chase huh? Okay maybe not for all post, but it is pretty obvious the posts which are more thoughtful from those which are simply written for leisure. Leisure readings, oh well, but thoughtful writings, hmmm...
Much as I am open and practice transparency, still I don't want my life to be on public scrutiny. The spunk in me threatens to go "Who are you to judge me? I am who I am." But the coward in me bows down in shame to the cruel judgement and simply wants to live up to expectations.
The world is a stage, but the theater is way too small to house so big an audience. To cut the pleasantries, some are not welcome here.
Yes, I am an introvert.
Yes, I ponder a lot over life and people's actions.
Yes, I magnify certain things in life and miss out details that seems crucial.
Yes, I have a very different perspective from many.
But don't you think it is so much more interesting to piece my personality bit by bit, draw out slowly the side that choose to shy away instead of jumping into quick conclusions on me and leaving me slightly bewildered and a little speechless.
Seriously, I would rather you told me "I observed you..." rather than "you said/wrote you..." I don't want to tell you about myself. Where's the mystique of life if you can't read between the lines and hear the unspoken?
~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~
RANDOM HAPPY MOMENT TO SHARE
9314, finally lay my paws on it... =)
