I am 20 going 21, but sometimes I feel that my family acts like I am on the wrong side of 20 and in danger of being left on the shelf. What’s the big deal of getting married? In this present age and time, the concept of an unmarried girl is nothing novel. The soceity is more open and less family-oriented.
So what’s up with the onslaught of social pressure to settle down and commit? The world is so messed up such that only the exceptions walk down the aisle into matrimonial bliss.
I just don’t understand the rationale of getting married if a divorce is in the cards when there’s no satisfaction. I was trying to explain to my Mum, times have changed. Relationships aren’t as strong as they used to be. Relationships that stand the test of time, like pyramids, they are corroding under the stress of time.
So what’s up with the onslaught of social pressure to settle down and commit? The world is so messed up such that only the exceptions walk down the aisle into matrimonial bliss.
I just don’t understand the rationale of getting married if a divorce is in the cards when there’s no satisfaction. I was trying to explain to my Mum, times have changed. Relationships aren’t as strong as they used to be. Relationships that stand the test of time, like pyramids, they are corroding under the stress of time.
People don’t change. It’s feelings that change. To think of it, it’s scary how a fairy tale can transform from happily ever after to happily never after. So much for a happy ending. But changes aren’t necessarily bad. Sometimes the old has to go to make way for the new and the better. Right? But unfortunately, people don’t think this way. Commitment is the key to a lasting relationship.
This is no laughing matter but I think I am commitment-phobic. How funny is it to want something, drive yourself insane fantasizing about it every day, and then when you finally get it, drop it like last year's fashion that you would rather die than be caught dead with? It is simply unnerving to being so conflicted. All I thought this while was to be able to walk right into your life, but if you had ever let me barge my way in, all I would want is out. I am probably the first one to throw my hand up into the air and run out of the door at the first sign of trouble.
I can totally imagine myself rejecting every available bachelor, jumping ship/changing ships every time a guy brings up our future. When it comes to signing on the dotted line of my marriage certificate, I will probably be dragging my Jimmy Choo down the aisle. That’s probably the pretty picture painted. I am probably those damsels guilty of running away from marriage. I am too hot for just one guy. Lol! I am kidding. I am too indecisive to stick to one. I don’t want to be tied down. I don’t want to break any hearts. I don’t want a guy to love me more than I adore him. Although love isn’t anything about you give a dime, you get a kilo worth of love, I don’t think my affections can ever be bought no matter how much gifts he is showering on me because things aren’t going change. I can never love another because I love myself too much. *shrugs nonchalently*
My dad, in his new scrimping-and-saving-for-a-better-future policy, has set his mind and heart in getting himself a second son, whether I like it or not. He keeps emphasizing the fact that dating does not equate to marriage. If I were a product, my value is falling with age. Well sorry daddy, I think I am a bottle of high-grade wine.
Being highly eloquent, I put my argumentative skills into good use. So you mean you want me to date any guy that comes along? If you want any second son, your daughter is pretty capable of getting any guy on the streets? Well that is if you want just any guy, because I have standards you know, Dad. I can’t just go hang out with any guy because people will think I am compromising. And if every ugly toad thinks I am in their league, this means that my market value is going to pummel? You don’t that to happen do you? I mean all your investment on me could just go to waste just based on one bad, lousy decision.
My dad thought hard. “Well if a good one comes along, then keep him? The rest, you can just jolly squeeze them dry, burn a hole in their pockets and scare them off with your lifestyle.”
During CNY, my aunties probed about my non-existent love live. “So, princess, you haven’t found any guy who caught your eye?” “Your school/course got no nice boys?”
I have found the perfect answer to this repetitive question that I hear every year. Even though it’s not entirely true, neither is it entirely false, it’s a fairly decent way to end the conversation sounding witty yet not too rude. "Sometimes I forget they are living things. Coursemates are like inanimate objects, like a table, a chair, ah a pencil. You can’t be in a relationship with a pencil, a table or a chair. It’s just not going to happen.”
My Mum came to the conclusion that “I only want things I can’t have.” Well, that’s the closest to what I am thinking at the moment. Who want things that you can have without trying? No challenge, plain boring and totally worth the trouble to toss it into the nearest thrash can. But I like what my Mum said next “Sometimes you need things that you don’t want.” It makes sense, but for now I don’t think I need anything. My life is prefectly fine the way it is. Of course, time may change everything. Maybe, when I am on the wrong side of 20 I will feel panicky. But I guess I have a good life, because by then Mum and Dad would have activiely started their marketing strategy. And I have already decided to market myself as “the royal pain in the ass.” Just kidding. Crazy parents. They think a mean guy is more suitable for me because I am no darling myself. And to tell the truth, it suits me fine. So I guess I will be getting married on an early December morning, I just hadn't decided on the year yet.
