I think my emotions went on a roller coaster ride today.
I started the day feeling really sleepy. So even when I was told that my paper would be based on readings, I just took it in my stride. Seriously, I have less than 3 weeks. Even I felt I couldn’t come out with any experiment results.
Actually yesterday, my sup. sort of said I could go on board on Friday. I mean, who wouldn’t try to grab this opportunity? If I missed it this time, who knows when will the next time come. An opportunity can’t possibly keep knocking on your door right? So he asked someone to arrange it. Technically, I was supposed to follow up. But till this morning, nothing happened.
I tried to make things happen. But by afternoon, I was told I couldn’t go on board because I was from a different department. I needed a Captain from my department to look after me. I tell you, this feeling just sucks. I can feel a sinking sensation in my stomach. What I was feeling was “T.T”, but I pretended to be cool about it and went “it was fine”. The other intern in my department did console me and tell me “I know you are excited, but the ships dock here frequently. There will be a next time. Don’t worry.”
I did request to go under another dept., but it didn’t really work out. I mean I can understand their concerns. My sup. was not in. And if they gave approval, and anything happened, they would be held solely responsible.
But still, my heart bled. You’ve got to know where I am coming from. I worked bloody hard the whole morning so that I finished Friday’s morning worth of work so that the ship visit won’t hinder my work. And just a moment ago, I told everyone “the other dept. said okay, I can go on board.Yeah.” And then, suddenly, I can’t go. How am I supposed to pretend that it didn’t matter?
I guess it’s not a matter of whether I want to act fine. I have to. So I did what I do best. I just throw myself to work like some crazy workaholic to numb the pain. Then not too long after, K and some other sup. came around. The sup. asked me why I couldn’t go, and when he tell me “then too bad lor, we will take photos for you.” I really felt the sting. But he is real influential. He just said a few lines to the next-in-line, then viola, I can go too.
Seriously happy. Never felt happier. And the “table of 6” (those sitting around me, I dono why I nicknamed them that) were sharing my euphoria and excitement by telling me horror stories about people falling into the sea.
This is my first time on board a ship (NOT INCLUSIVE OF LAME STAR CRUISES). Yea, I know I went to port tours before. But, seriously that one is even lamer. We just sit in a bus and look at the vessels. On the first week, when the table of 6 heard my story of my closest encounter with a ship – eye contact from afar. One of them nearly spat out his water. Seriously pathetic! But thankfully, I am a blessed kid, cos now I can finally bid this “pathetism” sayonara. Can’t wait for tomorrow. Yea!
I started the day feeling really sleepy. So even when I was told that my paper would be based on readings, I just took it in my stride. Seriously, I have less than 3 weeks. Even I felt I couldn’t come out with any experiment results.
Actually yesterday, my sup. sort of said I could go on board on Friday. I mean, who wouldn’t try to grab this opportunity? If I missed it this time, who knows when will the next time come. An opportunity can’t possibly keep knocking on your door right? So he asked someone to arrange it. Technically, I was supposed to follow up. But till this morning, nothing happened.
I tried to make things happen. But by afternoon, I was told I couldn’t go on board because I was from a different department. I needed a Captain from my department to look after me. I tell you, this feeling just sucks. I can feel a sinking sensation in my stomach. What I was feeling was “T.T”, but I pretended to be cool about it and went “it was fine”. The other intern in my department did console me and tell me “I know you are excited, but the ships dock here frequently. There will be a next time. Don’t worry.”
I did request to go under another dept., but it didn’t really work out. I mean I can understand their concerns. My sup. was not in. And if they gave approval, and anything happened, they would be held solely responsible.
But still, my heart bled. You’ve got to know where I am coming from. I worked bloody hard the whole morning so that I finished Friday’s morning worth of work so that the ship visit won’t hinder my work. And just a moment ago, I told everyone “the other dept. said okay, I can go on board.Yeah.” And then, suddenly, I can’t go. How am I supposed to pretend that it didn’t matter?
I guess it’s not a matter of whether I want to act fine. I have to. So I did what I do best. I just throw myself to work like some crazy workaholic to numb the pain. Then not too long after, K and some other sup. came around. The sup. asked me why I couldn’t go, and when he tell me “then too bad lor, we will take photos for you.” I really felt the sting. But he is real influential. He just said a few lines to the next-in-line, then viola, I can go too.
Seriously happy. Never felt happier. And the “table of 6” (those sitting around me, I dono why I nicknamed them that) were sharing my euphoria and excitement by telling me horror stories about people falling into the sea.
This is my first time on board a ship (NOT INCLUSIVE OF LAME STAR CRUISES). Yea, I know I went to port tours before. But, seriously that one is even lamer. We just sit in a bus and look at the vessels. On the first week, when the table of 6 heard my story of my closest encounter with a ship – eye contact from afar. One of them nearly spat out his water. Seriously pathetic! But thankfully, I am a blessed kid, cos now I can finally bid this “pathetism” sayonara. Can’t wait for tomorrow. Yea!
