The gates of heaven opened weeping frozen tears of flakes. It is not as special as before. No wonder they say the virgin experience is always magical and memorable...hmm~~
This time the snow fell when darkness descend. And when shrouded in darkness, the more vulnerable and thoughtful side of me usually takes over.
Much as I concede it is a season of merry-making, for me it’s also a season of hibernation and reflection.
2011 is nearly over and once again it reaches I look at my life and just wonder. I used to think that there were a few people that could be considered my soul mate, who could look beneath my smiling face and see the bleeding heart, who could hear the sorrow behind the tingling laughter, who could sense my fear beneath the brave front. There were people who used to my moral of support, my beckoning light, my north star. But now, I just feel a little lost and alone. We are all so close yet so far apart. There are so many people around me forming invisible walls around me, surrounding me, suffocating me.
Yes, I am naive and child-like. But looking back, many have taken my nonchalance as a sign of consent to being a pushover. Much as I don’t care, I care. There are many a time I don’t want to make a big fuss even when my privacy has been encroached upon. I took it in my stride when whoever it is gave me a stab in my back. “You are nice so I decided to push you a little further.” I am nice but this doesn't mean I am a doormat who allows others to step all over me. Just because I still believe doesn't mean you can take away my faith because you don’t believe anymore. Kindness used to be given but now it has to be earned. Don’t ever take my patience and tolerance as an indication of fear, it is a sign of respect that can be easily renounced.
Silence is deafening. Realizing nobody understands is terrifying. And when somebody finally reads my deepest thoughts are not you but others, it is pure disappointing. That’s the bitter-sweetness of life.
today i just wanna talk to Santa...and Santa alone...
Santa can you help me?
My life is perfect but if people keeps shitting in it, it will soon look like the world.
Imperfect with its imperfections...Not breathable, Unbearable, and downright annoying.
Protect your world with your innocence? I wish I could, really... But people are robbing the innocence I cherished and hold so dearly away from me?
Take me? Save me?
*snow shouldn't fall today, I am spoiling this beautiful day by shredding every beautiful lie I was told into pieces ...
