Just realized that the surprise open book is actually no surprise to some…
But surprisingly I am not angry or anything, but just rudely shocked actually. Anyway, I never had much positive vibes for my beloved course mates or hold them in any form of high regards. I am not saying that all of you suck as a human or something but, well, there are really a few that would put mankind to shame and make me wonder “All lord, what have I done to be born as the same species as you this lifetime.”
There is a saying that “expectations are the root of all heartache”. But since I have really not too high an expectation of any moralistic behavior of any kind on their part, I am sad to say I am not sad after all.
Or perhaps, those who know didn’t really treat those who didn’t know as friends so they didn’t feel oblige to divulge any form of information that could benefit us to us. Did you see what I am doing, if “those who knew” see my words dedicated to them, I am defending you even though I don’t have to. Because you are my course mate. Because as a person, I have conscience that would haunt me if I am doing things that are wrong in social standards; doing things that go against what I have been taught. Because as a human, I want to believe in humanity even though legend says that humanity has long been dead since we gain conscious.
But whatever it is, I still feel that you all should at least let the cat out of the bag. I mean considering how gossipy how generally we all are, you would know that just telling one means telling all? So if it break your code to tell someone who is not your friend but still you know they would appreciate if they were in it too, shouldn’t you tell someone you are some sort close to, knowing that they would also tell those that you aren’t that close to? It doesn’t break your friendship code of honor, yet it fulfills the social rules of mankind?
Like what I told J, those who knew, you owe us 3 snowball headshots.
This one is for the class, you selfish bastard.
This one is for all Singaporeans. You’ve shamed us all to being categorized as self-centered little pricks because of your egocentric actions.
This one is for mankind. You’ve just proved humanity is dead, dashing all hopes that there is little specks of residue lying in us.
Don’t say that you are underserving of this honor, you know you do. This isn’t the time to act humble.
I wish I was downright furious or something which would do a better job of unleashing the venom in my pen. But to me, with or without notes, I am still a goner. Maybe I could have bought the whole textbook in to change my fate, but whatever, my lousy grades is probably caused by my consistent skipping of lessons. First consistency in my life, wow, and it’s for something negative, I should go jump down my window now with no strings attached. So now, I am just here making jabs at “those who know” like some cowardly keyboard warrior, instead of standing at the podium, making a big hoo-ha about obligations of a human to another. Yes, it’s my bad to assume that we are of the same kind.
Now I come to know we are not and maybe never will be. I beseech you to think about what our kindergarten teachers use to chant. “Hush *inset name*, share with the rest. You shouldn’t be selfish.” Practice what she used to preach, and we can still welcome you back with open arms into our playgroup. =) Okay, maybe not everybody can, but I have a knack for forgiving people who don’t deserve it because I am such a pushover. I welcome you to trample on my fragile faith and my naïve heart.
* You do know that the last sentence is sarcasm, yeah? To disperse your doubts if you have any, it IS SARCASM. *
